Recently I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about being a Dad.
Mainly what does it mean to become a Dad and as cliché as it sounds when is it that you actually feel like a Dad?
For J, she feels him every day. Our son will kick away at her and today he even had hiccups. As cute as it is I sometimes feel a little left out. I know I am due to be a Dad and, don’t get me wrong I am SO excited, but I’ll be honest, sometimes, when I’m not with J, I can actually forget for a second or two.
Sometimes he will be happily kicking away and then as soon as Jess calls me over to feel him kick he will fall asleep again, it’s a little frustrating. Other times J will message me from across the office to say ‘Our son is awake,’ and it’s more frustrating because it’s not so professional to lay your hand on your wife’s belly while she’s working, although I would if I could get away with it. But I have felt (and even seen) him kick so much and it’s the most precious thing. It literally has me beaming when I can just lay in bed or on the sofa and the three of us can just be together. That and J can let me into the world that she experiences on a 24/7 basis.
I think that’s why I’m trying my hardest to be a big help around the house and get as involved as possible with everything along the way. Because I don’t get to be involved in the carrying I can at least be involved in the looking after Mummy part.
In the movies the man always feels like a Dad when the baby grabs his finger, maybe I will have to wait until then, who knows?
For me, I’ve always got the sensation and I am so happy when I talk about our new family, but the feeling of being a Dad hasn’t hit me just yet. So I can talk about all the things we’ll do once he’s here and how I’ll buy him a wardrobe of clothes that match Daddy’s but it still, on occasion, just doesn’t feel real to me.
For now I’ll have to enjoy the kicks I can, and be patient as we count down the 17 and a half weeks until our little man blesses our lives.
That and I’ll have to keep tying J’s shoes as the bump stops her from bending too far.
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